The past several months of depression have been peppered with the occasional fun social evening. If not for obligation, I'd probably have no social life left at all. Now that I'm finally shaking off the weight of pessimism and self doubt, I feel soooooooo much better. It all began with my injury on Mt. Shasta, of which I was in complete denial. I was broken. At the moment when feeling small against the vastness of nature's glory is supposed to liberate a person, I instead felt crushed. I didn't want to sit and cry with the support group or hear encouraging words; I wanted to disappear. In some ways, I did. No one knew my heart. I didn't open up to a single person. When I sought professional help, the flaming hoops were more than I could handle. There was no avoiding the numbness.
I feel light, unencumbered, and incredibly relieved. I have a bit of work to get my affairs back in order, but I tell you that's nothing compared to feeling hopeless and uninspired. Phew. One day at a time, and I appreciate each little thing that makes me happy.
