Today's question swirling around in my mind is, "When you see someone in tireless pursuit of their dream, how does that make you feel?"
In that first instant I am filled with joy, but when the moment passes there are so many other emotions fighting each other inside me. I think back to dreams I had as a young person and wonder what they could have become. I am nostalgic. I miss feeling hopeful about the future. I get angry because there are so many people in the world who want others to fail so they can feel better about themselves. I feel upset because I burned so many bridges, most of them unintentional. Then I wonder how today’s young people are faring. So much responsibility is on their shoulders. They seem to have even less time than we did to get things right.
After all that, I look around at the people I surround myself with and I am content. I wake up every day happy to be alive. I feel love around me. Can there really be much else to want? Sometimes I wonder if that makes me lazy. I guess today was one of those “sometimes” days. When I was young, I felt that way every day. There is so much pressure in youth.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Monday, April 18, 2011
switch
How many times must I attempt to write a blog before I finally do it?
Let’s see. Where should I start? Mom is visiting from the Philippines for another 2-3 weeks. My brother and sister-in-law now live in the house with me - read: 3 sets of bedroom furniture in just 2 bedrooms. I’m unattached (again). I’ve lost almost 10 lbs without really trying. I’ve gone back to clubbing on the weekends full time. I’m also gambling again. I think that pretty much sums it up.
I attended mountaineering school at Shasta about a month ago. It was cold. There was about 5 feet of fresh powder on the mountain during our class. I spent the following weekend at Squaw in similar conditions. I burned a full day’s worth of calories 15 minutes into my first run by falling into a snowhole off the groomed trail – lesson learned. By the time I realized that I was going to have to unstrap my board, I had no ego left to bruise. I licked my wounds with a spa package that afternoon and rounded out the night with booze and Nintendo. Not bad for a birthday weekend, eh? I have some new snow gear and a renewed respect for the mountain. I’d like to go back again, but this weekend is the end of ski season and I haven’t made any plans to get up there. I wish I lived closer to Tahoe. Maybe I should attempt a day trip on Friday. Let’s keep that on the backburner in case the shooting range date doesn’t work out… Yes, I have a shooting date on Friday.
I had a kickass workout last Thursday. My Shasta climb teammates weren’t feeling it so I showed up for the hour alone and slightly intimidated. The Terminator was really excited, and that just made me more nervous. I warmed up with 5 sets of stairs. Then platform jumps – It was about 3.5 ft platform because I wasn’t confident enough to do 4’. She told me that I could get a running start if I wanted, but that’s cheating. We’ll work up to 4 feet. Doing platform jumps makes me feel a little bit like a circus animal. I’m the only female here who can do them. It’s nice to hear the oohs and ahs once in a while, but having the trainers go, “hey everybody watch this” is just kinda weird. Platform jumps, kettle bell walking lunges and pushups on the ball (right hand, left hand then both hands) were one circuit. Then I pushed the punching bag up and down the hallway for 6 round trips, more ball pushups, pull-up bar hangs, another set of platform jumps and cool down with another 5 sets of stairs. That’s 50 minutes.
I caught the Martial Arts demos at CalAcademy Nightlife and then headed over to PST at Eve later that night. It was so boring! I kept drinking Red Bull, waiting for wings that never came. When I got home at 2AM, I was tired and wired. I woke up every 15-30 minutes until my alarm went off. Needless to say, my Friday night plans were completely ruined. I woke up on Friday feeling like hell and somehow managed to drag my ass to work and back. It was a miracle.
I got some Shimano SPD pedals and Pearl Izumi mtb shoes, which I had planned on taking for their first ride on Friday night for Roll Deep: a celebration of the art and style of the bicycle (the ride followed by the party). I suppose it was for the best that I didn’t go. I ended up needing a second tightening of the shoe clips after about a half hour on the bike. I took her out on Saturday and made a childish ass of myself riding through the hood yelling, “Wheeeeeee!” It’s the little things sometimes.
As for this being single again business, there’s really no story behind it. We had a good run. Hopefully I’ll meet someone new soon. Until then I’ll just entertain myself the same as always. As you were…
Let’s see. Where should I start? Mom is visiting from the Philippines for another 2-3 weeks. My brother and sister-in-law now live in the house with me - read: 3 sets of bedroom furniture in just 2 bedrooms. I’m unattached (again). I’ve lost almost 10 lbs without really trying. I’ve gone back to clubbing on the weekends full time. I’m also gambling again. I think that pretty much sums it up.
I attended mountaineering school at Shasta about a month ago. It was cold. There was about 5 feet of fresh powder on the mountain during our class. I spent the following weekend at Squaw in similar conditions. I burned a full day’s worth of calories 15 minutes into my first run by falling into a snowhole off the groomed trail – lesson learned. By the time I realized that I was going to have to unstrap my board, I had no ego left to bruise. I licked my wounds with a spa package that afternoon and rounded out the night with booze and Nintendo. Not bad for a birthday weekend, eh? I have some new snow gear and a renewed respect for the mountain. I’d like to go back again, but this weekend is the end of ski season and I haven’t made any plans to get up there. I wish I lived closer to Tahoe. Maybe I should attempt a day trip on Friday. Let’s keep that on the backburner in case the shooting range date doesn’t work out… Yes, I have a shooting date on Friday.
I had a kickass workout last Thursday. My Shasta climb teammates weren’t feeling it so I showed up for the hour alone and slightly intimidated. The Terminator was really excited, and that just made me more nervous. I warmed up with 5 sets of stairs. Then platform jumps – It was about 3.5 ft platform because I wasn’t confident enough to do 4’. She told me that I could get a running start if I wanted, but that’s cheating. We’ll work up to 4 feet. Doing platform jumps makes me feel a little bit like a circus animal. I’m the only female here who can do them. It’s nice to hear the oohs and ahs once in a while, but having the trainers go, “hey everybody watch this” is just kinda weird. Platform jumps, kettle bell walking lunges and pushups on the ball (right hand, left hand then both hands) were one circuit. Then I pushed the punching bag up and down the hallway for 6 round trips, more ball pushups, pull-up bar hangs, another set of platform jumps and cool down with another 5 sets of stairs. That’s 50 minutes.
I caught the Martial Arts demos at CalAcademy Nightlife and then headed over to PST at Eve later that night. It was so boring! I kept drinking Red Bull, waiting for wings that never came. When I got home at 2AM, I was tired and wired. I woke up every 15-30 minutes until my alarm went off. Needless to say, my Friday night plans were completely ruined. I woke up on Friday feeling like hell and somehow managed to drag my ass to work and back. It was a miracle.
I got some Shimano SPD pedals and Pearl Izumi mtb shoes, which I had planned on taking for their first ride on Friday night for Roll Deep: a celebration of the art and style of the bicycle (the ride followed by the party). I suppose it was for the best that I didn’t go. I ended up needing a second tightening of the shoe clips after about a half hour on the bike. I took her out on Saturday and made a childish ass of myself riding through the hood yelling, “Wheeeeeee!” It’s the little things sometimes.
As for this being single again business, there’s really no story behind it. We had a good run. Hopefully I’ll meet someone new soon. Until then I’ll just entertain myself the same as always. As you were…
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