Wings Unfold

I practically had it hidden away or at least I thought I did. I reached out to people with the confidence that the secure have. I rarely felt the need to be emotional in front of people, and I embraced it when those moments happened in private. I felt comfortable being myself, but I was also cautious not to reveal too much for fear that the wrong person might want to get involved with me. I hadn't considered that I might fall without intending to. I thought I could decide to free my heart or keep it guarded from moment to moment. I thought it would be a conscious effort to unlock the armor. I didn't know that someone else could  disassemble it so slowly and softly that I wouldn't realize what was happening until my heart was naked in his hands. I mostly waver between disbelief and surrender, but I sometimes have resentment. He is another one of them, the seemingly unavailable. He was supposed to be a safe person to befriend, but I think we both felt something at our first meeting. I am often angry about it. I want to be angry at myself, at him, at the world. Why? Why him? I do not understand.