I’ve lived in this building since Halloween last year. I’ve met seven of the other twenty-nine plus residents here. I met one of the newer people at this past weekend’s Oaklavia street closure event. We were both volunteers. I recognized her electric bike because it has been locked to the staircase for a few weeks. I told her that it was nice to finally meet someone other than the people in the units next to mine. We agreed that this building is strangely anonymous. When I lived across the street, I’d at least seen every resident’s face and could strike up a conversation with about half of them. I was only there for about a year, and the man who lived next door to me was the hardest nut to crack. I actually had to take a bottle of wine to his door to get a “hello”! After that he just acknowledged me and smiled, but that seemed to be quite a breakthrough for him.
On one side, there’s the Cat Lady. She has two huge tabbies and she is extremely quiet. I never hear a TV or music or even voices from her side. Whenever I have people over, she always knocks on the door to ask us to be quiet. She may not be the ideal neighbor for me, but at least she talks. On the other side there is a young couple. From what I gather, they are college students and hip-hop dancers. They must have family who live relatively nearby because they are rarely around. When they are home, they are friendly and social. Cat Lady often goes over and asks them to be quiet too. Hip Hop Girl told me that she hates Cat Lady because she's always compaining about the noise. At the time, we were having an impromptu toast of ice cold cognac. I just managed to be passing by at the right moment to be included on the toast. Yes, these are my favorite neighbors. My first introduction to them was when they threw a party to raise money for a nonprofit that matches organ donations with needy recipients. How could I not like them?
Then there’s the really short older guy at the end of the hall. He used to have this crazy ass girlfriend whose temper was eventually her downfall. She has terrorized this building. He, on the other hand, seems perfectly serene. I don’t talk to him much though because I don’t want that crazy bitch chasing me with a kitchen knife! Yeah, she has done that. I thought they were the cutest little troll couple until she flipped out and the man had to lock her out of the gate to keep her from attacking her own niece. That particular incident reeks of questionable shenanigans, but my mind is far too twisted to even consider my version of what happened to be the truth.
On the other side of Hip Hop Duo, there’s this tall white guy who loves the Chargers. He seems to be a regular guy with a good sense of humor. I’ve run into him more than anyone else in this building. When I was going out a lot, he and I kept similar hours. I figure that’s gotta make Charger Fan someone who knows how to have a good time. I should introduce him to Cat Lady so he can mellow her out a little bit, but I get the feeling that she’d only turn her nose up at him anyway. I can’t fault her for that I guess. He is kinda geeky. I think she would be more receptive someone with charisma.
Maybe Cat Lady is a Christian or something – no booze, no sex, early to bed, early to rise, blah blah blah. I considered inviting her over for one of my video game parties, but then thought better of it because she might take me up on my offer and be the biggest buzzkill I ever met. Then what if she wanted to come over every time? She’s always at home, so I wouldn’t be able to avoid her crashing. Awkward! Best case scenario, however, would be if she loved the parties, got along with my friends and actually let her hair down once in a while. That would be so awesome. Hmmm. Maybe I’ll reconsider.
I've gotta figure out a way to swing this whole neighbor meet and greet. I need to get some face time with everyone. I can't do it all at once (going door to door) without looking like a freak. Maybe I can recruit some help from Hip Hop Duo, Charger Fan and Electric Bike. I really need to start by learning these people's names.
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