I attended a friend’s wedding recently. I arrived late and missed the 20-minute ceremony. I parked my car near where Twin Peaks and I were supposed to meet prior to driving to the wedding location and waited. At that point, the only way we could possibly be on time is if she was already there. She was delayed an additional 15 or so minutes with an over-cautious bus driver. I wasn’t angry; I'd spent my waiting time quelling my irritation before she showed up.
We got there just in time for the photos. At the reception, there was an older gentleman at our table with his three friends. Not only had I forgotten that he was the speaker who made a moving presentation at our office about gratefulness several weeks prior, but I was also unaware that he performed the wedding ceremony. He found the way I spoke with casual familiarity with everyone at the table extremely offensive. That became apparent when I swore in the middle of a funny story. I apologized when I saw his face all scrunched up, but he countered with, “You’re not sorry.” When I didn't respond, he repeated himself. For the rest of the time we were there, I ignored him. I do realize that I would also be offended if someone didn’t recognize me as an important player at an event, but at that point there was no remedying the situation anyway. I couldn't think of anything to say that would remedy the situation. In my experience, anything you say will just lead into an argument when you're talking to someone who doesn't like you.
Since that day, it stands out in my mind. I’m disappointed by how it overshadows the joy of my friends’ union in my memory. If I do see him again I can apologize again (although I doubt that it would make any difference), but right now I need to let go of the negative emotions associated with that experience. I can’t change what a person thinks of me nor should I concern myself with doing so. After all it’s their choice, not mine.
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