I’ve been doing a pretty good job of catching up with people over the past week. Something about reclaiming my closet pace has given me some new energy to be social and genuinely interested in other people’s lives. It feels a bit like having a nagging issue resolved. Now if I can just get mom and her finances squared away, I can feel truly liberated. I am tired of her always asking for money, but it’s time for the shoe to be on the other foot. She had to put up with my hand out for more than eighteen years. It’s only fair.
I think about mom a lot because she’s the most prevalent unresolved issue in my life at the moment. She has so much debt, more than I could have imagined she would have, especially considering that she is retired and on a fixed income. At first I couldn’t understand how it happened. Then I moved in with Killa B. He and I have so many similar traits when it comes to over-committing and sheer enjoyment of living. It was like me living with myself five or six years ago. The transition from then to now was a hard one, and no one is going to do it on their own if they don’t have to. I’m not sure when or if he will. That part of my life was really fun, and I didn’t want it to come to an end. It was impossible for me not to be a buzzkill. I was becoming my mom and making plans for how someone else should be spending their money. That’s when it finally clicked and I understood where my mom was coming from. Although I was right (and she was right when she did it to me), that still doesn’t matter. I can’t control anything except what I do. To believe otherwise will only set me up for disappointment. I’m always pleasantly surprised when someone comes through for me when I need help, but I owuld be foolish to rely on it.
I picked up my brand new Cyclocross bike from Marin Bikes yesterday. She’s purrrrty. It’s so me – unwilling to commit to one side over the other. I want some respect AND some wild abandon. I rode to and from the BART stations today because I don’t own the tools necessary to lower the seat. Suffice it to say that the seat location was a tad uncomfortable – yikes. All I had to do was get it to the office, and I knew someone would be there to take care of me. We’ve got some avid cyclists and former bike mechanics working with us. There’s probably an athlete of every sport under the one roof. We get industry discounts on every sporting good imaginable…except skates of course. Now that the bike has been given the green light by the most trusted bike mechanic in the building and the seat is at a more appropriate height, I’m going to wander the streets to find my new commute route. That’s right, I’m semi-retiring my vehicle. She is also very lovely and sporty, but my knee needs to be strengthened by the cycling. The car will just have to understand. Ugh. I never thought this day would come. I can’t believe I actually WANT to run again.
Trouble T is in town for the weekend, so you know there’s adventure afoot. If I can manage to skip out and stay home, I’m going to use tonight to catch up on much needed rest while she roams the city with the boys. It has been a really long week, and my body is sore all over. It’s telling me that I’m not allowing it enough recovery between workouts. I've had Aleve with my morning coffee twice this week. Tomorrow night should be a hot mess for sure and Sunday will be hung over roller skating. I’m also hosting a dinner for five tomorrow evening and video games prior to the clubbing. Should be fun! Although I’m a little worn out right at this moment, I’m sure I’ll manage somehow.
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