Get Over It

I’ve been thinking a lot about compassion.  I’ve met with a life coach a few times, and the thing we focus on most is having compassion for one’s self.   I can’t be the only person who is so self critical that it’s hard to get anything done.  This type of immobilizing perfectionism is a common manifestation of OCD.  So is social anxiety.  They go hand in hand – we worry that we’ll do something embarrassing, our clothing isn’t acceptable or appropriate, yadda yadda yadda.  Some of the worst cases of couch potatoes are actually people with terrible OCD.  My mother has severe social anxiety.  I often had to take her on errands first and then make it seem like we were just making another routine stop at a social outing.  She always had fun once she relaxed a bit, but it was like pulling teeth to get her out every time.

I used to have anxiety attacks.  Most of these happened when I was going through therapy.  Bringing ugly things to light is already difficult, and the perfectionist wants to analyze everything.  How did this happen?  Why?  What did I do to prompt the events?  Mind you, a child is never responsible for a wrong done to them by an adult.  Regardless of knowing this fact, I still felt that I was to blame in some way.

I think that everyone has some unhealthy thought pattern.  There are women who starve themselves practically to death trying to look beautiful.  There are men and women who work every waking hour until their inevitable breakdown because they equate money with happiness.  Everyone has something.  Without the proper nurturing environment, we have difficulty figuring out which thoughts are appropriate to act on.  In many cases, it’s no one’s fault.  We’re all humans trying to find our way.  A parent can’t tailor their parenting style to address their child’s future issues.  We can’t foresee how we will hurt someone’s feelings.  I don’t think there are many people who intentionally hurt others.  I used to think so until I realized that I was doing it.  When all you allow yourself to feel is pain, that’s all you can give to other people.

So… why is it so difficult to just get over it?  Just get over it.  I sat this to myself ALL THE TIME.  Just get over it and move on.