I slept well last night... until about 5:30AM, when I awoke with the nagging feeling that I had made an ass of myself. Sometimes I wonder why people put up with it. I said something mean -spirited to a guy I work with. I didn't even give it a second thought until another person commented on it. Although the commenter meant it light -heartedly, I took it quite seriously and examined the motivation behind my snarky retort. What it comes down to is my constant self-depreciation. I am rarely (if ever) satisfied with anything I do. I can't even take a compliment! If I'm so critical of myself, it makes perfect sense that I'd insult someone else to take the focus off me for a while.
Well, I don't want to be that person. There are enough bitches in the world already without me adding another one. I'll just have to find a new, different way to quiet my cold inner judge. Until then, I must be strong enough to endure the stare of my reflection.
I apologized of course. Even though he said it didn't matter, it was important to me that I at least admit my wrongdoing.
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