The question is not whether men and women can be friends. Can a straight man and a straight woman be friends and hang out one on one without one or both of them crossing the line that separates friendship from something more (or something less depending on how you look at it)? I used to think that it was possible, until I tried it. I tell you, no man in his right mind is going to spend several hours a week alone with you unless he is either gay or in love with you (or both).
If a gay man loves a woman, no harm, no foul. I've been on the receiving end of that love many times. These are some of the best friends you can have. Men have this way of remaining friends even through deceit and neglect. They may fight for a night or maybe even a week, but they eventually get over it and move on. You can't buy that. Women aren't so forgiving. I've learned so much about friendship and loyalty from men. Some of the lessons were brutal, but a person as hard-headed as me gets used to that kind of thing. I often can't admit I'm wrong until I've been broken down to my last shreds of pride and vanity.
I have more straight male friends (whom I haven't slept with or even thought of in that manner) than any woman I know. For a hotass with a wandering eye, one might wonder how this is possible. It's easy! All you gotta do is hang out in groups with boys. Boys love hanging out with each other and the token raunchy female is almost always welcome. I love Boxing and MMA. I can become quite animated while watching these matches on TV. Throw in some alcohol and you've got two shows for the price of one...seriously. You'd swear I either fought professionally myself or had money riding on it. I understand football fans because of this obsession I have with fighting. I love watching fights - professional or street. I love coaching the fighters from the couch or sideline. The rest of the world sort of fades away, and there's nothing but the fight. Crazy, huh? I feel the same way about riding with nothing but open road ahead of me - that damn accelerator just whispers my name so sweetly that I have to answer the call, but I digress.
In the beginning, you're two peas in a pod. You hop from party to party, watching each other's backs and pretty much teaming up against the world. Eventually something happens on an otherwise uneventful night, and one of you looks at the other with a little sparkle in the eye. This person you've just been combing the streets with for weeks as a platonic buddies so much more than that. How blind I've been not to notice the way the light catches your hair and forms a halo around your face. The echo of your laughter down a vacant alley sends tingles down my spine...whatever. You get my point.
It is so over!!! It can only end one of two ways: either they hook up or somebody gets their feelings hurt. I've been on both sides. However, I prefer to just put some distance between myself and the dude if I start to feel that intimate pull. He may wonder why I don't hang out so much anymore, but I just say that I'm busy or (even better) I decide to stop partying for a while. It's for the best. Trust me.
The worst that can happen is that he moves on to hanging out with someone else. Big deal. If you're really interested in being just his friend, you'll get over yourself and he'll welcome you back with open arms (remember that whole forgiveness thing). If he falls for you, he will give chase. You are in big trouble now, missy. Do you really want this? Once you cross the line, it will be changed forever and you can't go back. When you're attending his wedding (to someone else) years later, you'll be standing there wondering why you set yourself up for this crap. Prepare yourself for being a Godmother... and I'm not talking about the fun, glamorous Fairy Godmother either - I'm talking free babysitter in case of emergency. Sheesh.
But I'm not bitter...
No comments:
Post a Comment