I’m gonna be evil for a few minutes. Who am I kidding? I’ve been evil for at least the past few days. I’ve been slinking around doing little underhanded spiteful things to people passive-aggressively because I don’t want to have a confrontation, and I’ve been incredibly moody (so I don’t really know if people are doing stupid things or if I’m just taking it the wrong way). The other day, however, I got a really good snicker. The following morning that little snicker turned into an all-out tickle. I can even laugh now remembering it.
I’ve been a little gun-shy on the social drinking front since the whole NDB asshole incident. Pebbles has moved to Israel to dance with a company there. Killa B and NDB finally got a new roommate. The new roomie is a 20-yr old stoner and has a bestie who is also similarly tempered (the pair will be referred to herein as Bill and Ted – which is probably dating me). When I met them the other day, they’d just returned from a house party in West Oakland. If you have any idea what I’m talking about, you’re already well-prepared for where this story is going. I dropped my bag in KB’s room and heard him in the kitchen saying, “You guys left [NDB] at the party?”
“I’ve always wanted to do that.” I added.
“Leave [NDB]?” asked Ted. I looked at Killa B. He shrugged.
“You may as well go ahead and say it now.” That’s my boo – behind me every step of the way. LOL! So I went on to tell him that either NDB needed more years under his belt to figure out what his limits were so that he could keep up with us, or he just needs to cut it out. Ted looked a little puzzled because he had no clue that KB and I are significantly older than he and Bill are. He went on to laugh to himself about it like a crazy person for another half hour or so (damn stoners). Ted said something about drinking E&J and Carlos Rossi, and I thought back to the old days of Frank, Rome and me going to house parties in East Oakland, each of us carrying a fifth of Smirnoff blue label with no chaser. I also mentioned Thunderbird with Kool-Aid - the hood cocktail. Yeah, those were the days. It’s surprising that we lived through them. It’s even a bigger shock that we are all functioning members of society, well, more or less. So this is the new generation of partiers, huh? They’re silly and make me laugh. I hope they live through it too.
The following morning, KB told me that NDB took a bowl of coleslaw to the BBQ/house party that night and after pissing someone off (big shock there), got cracked in the head with said bowl. It took all my resolve not to laugh loud enough for the entire neighborhood to hear me. That is two things crossed off my checklist. NDB got left someplace and then got popped upside the head. I mean, I didn’t get a chance to do it myself, but it was done so I’m counting it. Check and check! He’s fine, but he’s gonna have a knot for a while. I tell you, karma is a bitch sometimes. I’m sure he has earned that knot a hundred times over. I wish I could have gotten it on video so I could watch it over and over again. Frank says he feels sorry for him. I do not and I won’t unless I get a chance to say the things I want to say to him. All this pussy-footing around the MF is not helping him. Don’t be afraid of tough love, people! KB has pretty much kept me from talking to the poor guy. Seriously though, someone really needs to step in and run an intervention so he can have a chance at experiencing what it’s like to be genuinely happy and not just toasted. Where are his friends? Does he not have any? Doesn’t he wonder why?
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