Thursday, July 28, 2016

The Masquerade Ball

I cannot sufficiently express in words how it feels. As a child, I watched a lot of television. I saw myself in characters that bore little or no physical resemblance to myself or anyone in my family. I related to them strictly based on their personalities and how they reacted to life's adventures. I was a big fan of adult-themed sitcoms. For some odd reason, M.A.S.H. was my favorite. Hawkeye was my favorite character on the show because, although he had normal emotions, he didn't let the things that happened to or around him diminish his ability to find humor and amusement. There was always conflict, stress and danger, but the characters on that show still managed to work together as a team. I had other shows I enjoyed like Star Trek, Married with Children, Roseanne, Laverne and Shirley, Night Court and so many more. I never got into the black shoes : Cosby, A Different World, 227, etc. because I didn't know people like them growing up. My family is a mix of two races, and my Filipino mother didn't approve of me spending time with my black friends' families. When I was with my father, I was frequently surrounded by old military vets. Even now, I prefer the company of military vets to civilians.

This concept of belonging to a team appealed to me and still does. A team is certainly stronger than one individual, and the combination of weaknesses and strengths gives the team an adaptability one person could never attain alone. I had this idea in my mind as I matured that I would find my team, and on a few occasions I believed that I had. I never belonged to a team that consisted of a single nationality. I hadn't even considered it. 

As I get older and see more of the world, I find my race to be a bigger restriction than I could have ever imagined. I am judged before I've had a chance to open my mouth by people who have never met me before, and it's difficult to understand how one could possibly justify their prejudice. Many of those who took the time to get to know me well enough to mention it admit that they've never really known any black people before me. I don't mind them saying that. I know that I am part of a minority. I also know that black people are often portrayed negatively in the media. I don't blame people who haven't had the opportunity to discover otherwise for believing what they see. I do, however, blame those who accept what they're fed by the media as unquestionable truth. There cannot possibly be just one type of person in any nationality. People are complex. We are not all clones of one master copy. It is unfair for someone to be judged by the physical characteristics given to them at conception. Then, to assume that every person of a certain race shares the same mind is just plain stupid. 

I personally feel most comfortable surrounded by a diverse group. I have a fair understanding of most of my friends' cultures, and I enjoy the way they mesh to make life rich and interesting. I tend to keep the ones who share certain personality characteristics. They do not have any desire to cause a scene. They will not yell and fight in the middle of the street. They don't take things personally. They won't put their intimate business on display. If they have a dispute, they'll handle it semi-privately or just let it lie until it's no longer an issue. They don't lower themselves to petty scrapes, but they simply work harder to rise above them. They believe that there is no better revenge than to overcome an obstacle placed before you by a disliked rival. They are a well-balanced combination of intelligence, curiosity, empathy, logic and perseverance. We talk about everything from philosophy to toilet humor. No topic is sacred. Yeah, that last bit is usually the limiting factor. I've missed opportunities to be closer to people who were brilliant because they were too refined for crass conversation. Oh well. I don't want friendship with censorship.

I have tried to come to terms with prejudice and find a way to tolerate it, but I cannot. It's maddening. Bigots won't listen to reason, and we can't keep them from procreating. My anger is wasted on them, I know. So what am I to do instead?

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