I saw a comment while scrolling the fb timeline that concerned me. It went something like, "Black people can say 'all lives matter'". The commenter isn't black. My gut reaction was, 'I love her. She totally gets it.' Then I was overcome with a very unpleasant feeling. We just created a new "nigga". Black people can say it, but white people can't unless they want to be considered racist. Damn. Another division. That is the opposite of what we're trying to do here, right? Or is it? What are WE trying to do? Who is "we"? I am trying to keep the family together. It pains me to see people so divided, especially when I so strongly believe that the only answer is unity.
I've said this a few times to people individually, but I haven't posted it because I don't want to make my page an open forum for this conversation yet. I have enough to worry about without adding this. I am barely managing what's already on my plate. Anyway, here it is. I did not take the Black Lives Matter pledge.
Although I agree with the core values of the movement, I support many who are actively representing it and I even defend it when I see it being misrepresented, I will not join. Why not? Because there is too much fury in and around it for me. Extremists have practically assassinated its reputation, and it may never recover enough to be considered inclusive or nonviolent. I am not capable of processing that level of emotion without doing something really desperate and really really stupid. I am angry/upset/distressed/fed up. I understand the people out there setting shit on fire. I would probably be high for days on endorphins if I allowed myself to hit the street in a whirlwind of rioting rage, flames, breaking glass and primal screams. It would feel AWESOMMME and so satisfying in the moment. It would solve absolutely nothing. It would serve no one. It would make me "another one", another nameless, faceless, violent, angry black person. It would divide us further.
I don't need to constantly be reminded that we come in different colors. I don't need to be reminded that some people think they are better than me because they are not the same color as I am. I know that my ancestors were bought and sold as property. I don't need to be reminded of that either. The ones that need reminding are actually not affected the way one would hope - they're proud to be descendants of slave owners. They would like to return to those good ole days. None of this is new. None of these tactics are new. You wanna know how to change people's prejudices? Live. Be unapologetically yourself. Pursue your joy. Love yourself. Love them. Let them see your happiness. Let them share it. Let them love you. Work together. Play together. Build shit together. That is the only way.
I have shit to do. I can't risk getting arrested. I have this crochety old lady depending on me every day to keep her alive, and that is more urgent than Civil War Episode 53. I can jump back in for episode 55. It doesn't matter if I miss a few because every episode is the goddamn same. All these years have passed, and this ignorant racist shit is still an issue. Hold on, lemme check... Yup, still there! Are you fucking serious? Go away. Get off my mom's lawn. And while you're at it, shut up. Shut up and go sit in the corner until you can act like you have some sense.
The world we live in today breeds extremism. The constant barrage of hate is too much. We fucked up. Full stop.
No comments:
Post a Comment